It’s time to Bounce Back!

 

Are we viewing rejection wrong? Could it be that our perception, about the perceived rejection needs to change? Consider for a moment that, maybe it was not the right timing for the opportunity; maybe you need to become clear on your mission or your goals, maybe there is something better than what you are aiming for.

Everyone has experienced some form of rejection, either in their career, relationship, or business. Rejection sucks! It leaves us feeling like some of our needs are not getting met, and it can cause us to question our value or self-worth. We bounce back, by refusing to allow rejection, or our perception of rejection to serve as a deterrent, instead we will choose to view a closed door, as preparation for the open door.

A closed door is, preparation for the open door.

Allow the feelings of rejection, to stir your passion and your drive to push even more to obtain your desired outcomes. Refuse to shrink back in obscurity, or revisit the place where you once were un-confident and intimidated to pursue what has been birthed down deep into your heart.

Do not allow the negative emotions of rejection; dictate to your worth, your ability, or your potential. You have to fight for your dreams, and refuse to remain knocked-out. It is time for you to bounce back!

1. Get clear on your goals, and do not settle for less than you know you are worth.
2. Start making positive declarations to change your mindset. Start with the following declaration:

“I am qualified and equipped for the role, the relationship, and the resources that I am pursuing. I know my worth and will no longer settle for a mediocre existence, for being average, of for being counted or considered as subpar. Rejection will serve to propel me even the more towards my goals, and I believe the right opportunities will present themselves to me. The “no’s” are preparing me for exponential success.”

3. Refuse to quit and stay persistent, keep striking until you hit the target.

Persistence is the key to reaching your goals, and living your dreams.

There will be moments that you will question and become frustrated with the process. There will be moments when you want to give up and quit. You will question whether you have what it takes or if you have what it takes. Persist even the more, when you want to quit, because the mission is not a selfish pursuit it is fuel to not only build a better you but a better future for your family. The pursuit is about serving a higher purpose than yourself, and living more freely to serve society and make a difference.

When the purpose is not just about you, but about serving it does not matter how much opposition you face it will be that difference you can make that drives you past the opposition, to the fulfilment of your greatest purpose.

What does it mean to “Help”?

Asking for help is not a sign that you are weak, and offering help does not mean that you have all the answers.

When someone offers to help, they are actually offering hope.

We are all human with frailties, and there are times that a cry for “Help” is a cry for change or support. Seeking the support you need is the wisest form of wisdom.

Allowing others to offer you a helping hand, lightens the load and allows an individual or organization to endure some of the unexpected tantrums of storms that life or the market may bring. The word “Help” is often laced with a negative connotation, of weakness, irresponsibility, lack of self-sufficient, and dependency.

I teach my son to try first and if he is unable to do it after trying, to ask for help. Sometimes, we feel abandoned and alone because we do not have the proper support system in place. Support systems keep you lifted up, continue to help you achieve your goals, help you conquer your goals, and help you to celebrate your victories. Your support system can help you avoid certain pitfall, and manuever difficult challenges that come along. You’ve heard the phrase that, “No man is an island” all that phrase signifies that it is lonely trying to do everything on your own.

We  must to learn to allow people to help us reach our goals, change our mindset, and support us in some of the most difficult of times.

I am definitely grateful, for those that helped me when my son was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I had to learn to allow people to help me, I had to deal with my emotions, and trust God throughout the process. Asking for help is the best sign of strength because it takes a selflessness, courage, and bravery to allow others to support us at our most vulnerable moments. Help should not be an unspoken language in our communities, and it should not be abused or misused but used as a support mechanism to aid each other in our lives journey.

Help means that we are in this together.

There is some in our humanity that wants to help one another, yet our distrust has caused there to be a separation, and I believe that if our homes, community, and lives are going to get better, we have to learn how to better support one another.

Loving Life

Goodness is all around us. A lot of times we have to look within ourselves to see that underneath the rubble and ruin, there is a beating heart full of life and hope.

Years ago, I went through depression. I found myself drowning with feelings of worthlessness. We had tried for a baby, and I felt worthless, and like a failure unable to conceive. In addition, I had just loss my eldest brother, and was very grief stricken. The denial of my own state, caused me to sum up my down days as just a phase. At a church service, it was prayer that woke me up from denial, and set me on the path of freedom.

I had to learn to love life again. I had to take a hard look at my predicament, and determine within myself was I going to receive freedom or reject freedom.

Sometimes we reject freedom, because we are afraid we can not do what freedom will require.

Prayer came to set me free, and I almost rejected it, because I was embrassed and ashamed of the state I was in.

Questions consumed me such as:

How did I get here?

What will other people think about me?

In these moments of confusion and uncertainty, I accepted where I was, so I could receive the freedom God had already prepared and granted to me. I prayed to understand how I get to this place, and discovered answers.  I take long walks, enjoyed the fresh breeze, spent time being still and quiet, spent time with my husband, pampered myself, and stopped fertility treatment.

There was so much, peace once I stopped trying to make things happen, and just really believed God could do what he had promised. Two miracles later, after six years of waiting we conceived two little boys Kaleb and Isaiah. They are a reflection and a fleshly manifestation of hope and promise. Throughout my experiences in life, I’ve learned that thanksgiving and gratefulness attract goodness.

We can not allow the sorrows of today, to rob us of the joy of our tomorrow.

We can choose to live in joy everyday, by intentionally seeking out the good in every situation, instead of wallowing in sorrow and disappointment. I’ve learned to take time for myself, and to make sure I do not just pour out but refuel. This is why, I am so passionate about empowering other career-minded professional women to grow and develop not only in their career, but in their personal lives.

I am passionate about helping people and businesses become better.

“As we become better, life gets better.”

We can “Love Life Today”, even without perfect circumstances. We learn to Love Life again, by looking for the good in every situation. When I decided to embrace the life I had, and not mourn over the life I did not have.

We can make daily decisions as to whether or not we will enjoy life.

I am currently working on a devotional, that gives inspiration and encourages women to Love Life Today. It provides very practical insight and encouragement.

Please share your comments and thoughts about this blog.

What’s Your Static?

I can recall a time, when I forgot to put fabric softener in the dryer, and put on a dress without realizing there was static. My dress was sticking to my skin, the dress kept rising up, it would not lay or flow right. It was so uncomfortable, and I just found myself tugging and pulling just trying to get it to lay right.

There are things that are sticking to us, that are not allowing us to flow freely in our life or even our business. Sometimes, it could be relationships, unhealthy habits, lack of preparation, or unclear vision as to where we want to go.

The definition of static is as follows:

Lacking in movement, action, or change, especially in a way viewed as undesirable or uninteresting.

I often ask this question, to potential clients, when sitting down with them in coaching sessions and many have difficulty answering this question which is ,”What Do You Want Your Life To Look Like?” Most often people may know how much money they want to make, what car they want to drive, or what kind of house they want to live in. However, most often they have small snapshots, but not holistic pictures of  what they want in their life.

Sometimes when there is static in our life, it prohibits us from really connecting with others, achieving our goals, and living with purpose.

What is preventing you from connecting your career with your passion? What is stopping you, or causing an interruption in your life? What are you afraid of? What is stunting the growth of your business, and preventing you from getting clients or customers? Maybe you have no problem getting clients, but your issue is retention? What is causing static in your personal life or business?

Static can sometimes be the things that come into your life to interrupt the peacefulness or clarity that you have fought so hard to maintain.

It is important to differentiate the good interruptions, from the bad interruptions that come into our life. Good interruptions, connect us with things that will bring us closer to our purpose. While bad interruptions take us further away from where we want to be and instead of assisting us in reaching our desired destination. Certain interruptions, distract us from pursuing, obtaining, or reaching our goals.

What is causing static in your life? The static could be that you lack clarity in regards to your goals in life? Because you are unclear, it causes you to travel down a road of abyss, that seems endless with no destination in sight.

Let me help you develop a personal development plan, a personal mission statement, or assist in reducing the static in your business. Leave your comments, or email me directly at harrisde165@gmail.com.

Are you being drained or supercharged?

Who are you connected with? Do you have the right people in your life?

Sometimes the difference maker, is making the right connection.

Some jobs leave you drained while others leave you energized. Some people leave you drained, while other people constantly keep your flame ablaze. Some relationships leave you drained, while other relationships maximize your strengths. Some people are companions, while others are just passengers. You have to know how to identify your superchargers.

Everyone needs superchargers in their life, to help them breathe life into their dreams and birth their visions.

Sometimes as a business you have to go outside your of your circle, and forge relationships with other influencers. It is important to expand your reach, and push against your level of comfort.

How do you differentiate the superchargers from the drainers in your life?

If you are being drained, you must find a way to get rid of the drainage in your business or personal life. Have you ever had a running toilet that ran up the usage on your water bill causing it to be outrageously high?  This is similar in contrast, to the those that cause drainage in your business or personal life. Anything causing you to be drained, costs you an astronomical amount of money and time. How do connect with the superchargers? Don’t allow the fear of rejection, keep you from reaching out.

1. Be intentional about maximizing the quality of connections in your life or business.

2. Be open to listen to ideas, suggestions, and opinions that challenge your ideas of growth.

3. Be specific about where you are, and where you want to go.

Having the right connections, can be the difference maker you need to promote change in your business and personal life.

the Father’s Love

When I think of my Dad, I imagine him as my hero. I see his struggles, but most of all I remember the times he showed up. I remember the times he showed up to my graduation, and the time he called me from prison, just before it was time for me to walk down the wedding aisle; just to apologize and give me his blessing. I remember I cried inconsolably, because on the most important day my heart was heavy, as a result of missing his presence. Thankful, that God hears the depths of our heart, and he orchestrates things, and sets everything into motion, and his love compels the universe to answer even our most silent, deepest, and earnest prayers.

Both boys and girls need a father’s love. A father, who protects them, gives them a sense of identity, nurtures and cares for them, and helps them to reach their fullest potential. There is a longing on the inside of every little girl for a father’s love. There is a mirror reflection that little boys hope to see and mimic from their fathers. The sad reality is that many fathers have checked-out, abandoned ship, or they are too broken to be a positive influence in their child’s life.

It’s easy to focus on disappointments, but it is so much better to celebrate and remember when he kept his appointments, and went above and beyond the call of duty. God used him to seed me into the earth and I am grateful. If I view him in a negative context, it will affect how I view other men, but when I choose to see the goodness on the inside of him, I see him through the eyes of my heavenly father.  I always, say that I inherited the best parts of him, but the truth is he invested the best parts of himself in me. There is still a yearning in me to sit at his feet and glean from his wisdom. Every boy or girl longs for their father. I love that God does not allow us to remain lacking, because he is a father to the fatherless.

Psalm 68:5 says “Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Lift up a song for Him who rides through the deserts, Whose name is the LORD, and exult before Him. 5A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation.

He fills the void in our lives, where our fathers were absent, lost, and missing.

As Father Day approaches, I hope you focus on the good memories and if there are none. Remember those people who God has sent in your life to help bridge the gap and fill the void, and remember the times that God has protected, cared, nurtured, and fathered you.

 

Bust A Move: What Moves Are You Making? Power Moves

Earlier this week, I conducted a conference call, on the topic of “Power Moves” and wanted to share some of the discussion on this blog.

Power moves are all about strategic positioning, that gets you closer to fulfilling your personal and professional goals. In the game of chess, you can have the best strategy, but if it is poorly executed you will not conquer your component. What moves are you making to get you where you want to go, in either your career or business?

Here are somethings that I shared on the call:

1. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

“A comfort zone is the place of least resistance”

 Sometimes, getting out of our comfort zone requires radical change. Maybe you are not ready to bungee jump, but you need to start at least considering bungee jumping as an option. Bungee jumping is scary and possibly even frightening for those that are scared and terrified of heights.

Is what you currently doing getting you in position, to take your career or business to the next level?

Change does not have to be huge to be impactful. Gradually change implemented over time, can equate to sustainable growth.

Do you want quick growth or sustainable long-term growth?

2. Counteract Destructive Behaviors 

What behaviors are stifling your growth personally or professionally?

• Procrastination 

We tell ourselves “I will do it next time or later.”

 

“Procrastination stunts progression”

If what you are putting off, is getting you further away from where you want to be and where you want to go; it is stunting progressive growth. What do you want your life to look like? 

• Poor Attitude

We tell ourselves, “It will not happen for me, or my business because the market is already saturated or others are already doing what I am trying to do.”

Often times a “Poor Attitude” stems from an unhealthy environment that has grown into a weed, which has been allowed to fester. Weeds need to be pulled up from the root, so that they will not grow again. Certain mindsets have to be destroyed so more fruitful and productive mindsets can live and blossom. 

• Poor Results 

“Somes times we allow the bad results, to overshadow the potential for good results.”

 We have accepted defeat based upon prior results, that did not turnout the way we hoped, anticipated, or wish.

This behavior may cause us to quit, right on the brink of the breakthrough.  

3. Be Diligent In Preparation

If a time capsule, catapulted you to your desired destination, would you be ready? You have to understand that “Preparation Meets Opportunity.” I was watching a Tedtalk a few weeks ago, and the speaker made a powerful statement, she said “Prepare For Where You Want To Be Before You Get There.” Be ready at all times and on the lookout for new opportunities.

Begin to see every interaction as an opportunity, and stay prepared because it may be the very move you need to get you closer to your business and career goals.

Irrefutable Hope

The love I have for you will never go away. These are the words that flood my mind, as the day of my oldest brothers’ birthday approaches. It has been almost seven years, since we lost him.

My heart is peaceful, but there is still a hole, due the absence of his physical presence. Yet there is also relief, in knowing, that there will be a reunion in heaven. My eyes are flooded as I remember our talks, your laugh, and your gentle-kindness. Joy and sorrow are sometimes not so distant cousins, and untamed emotions can be distorted by the grief of the heart. I find solace in the following scripture:

1 Thessalonians 4:13

And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.

When I consider the deterioration of your frail form, my heart it is at ease knowing that your pain has ceased, and in a way healing has taken place. There is no more suffering for you to face, no need to watch you agonize in pain. There is now some relief, in knowing that despair in death may be misplaced. Death in itself has liberated you unto a better place, where tears dissipate and laughter is full of joy and grace. Yet, there is still a hole in my heart, because of your missing presence.

Quietly you transitioned in peace; you embraced your journey to a place of rest. You are loved brother, and so dearly missed. Every day, I rejoice in the memories we shared, and go on knowing that God has you wrapped in the bosom of his arms. We shall meet again, for my heart alone understands there is eternal hope. It’s irrefutable this hope, this assurance, this peace in my heart. I can see you dancing in the sun, the light you’ve shown will never fade.

With courage you answered the call, and without struggle fall asleep in the father’s arms. Its irrefutable this eternal hope that gives peace, in the face of loss, despair, and grief. Each day, I hope and rejoice in the memories imprinted on my heart. Brother, I will see you again!

Remembering you with joy and laughter is a choice to celebrate you, instead of living a life confounded by hopelessness.

 

 

Perfectly Designed

You are “Perfectly Designed”…

When God made you, he broke the mold. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are perfectly flawed. He loves you even with all your imperfections, shortcomings, and scars. You are perfectly flawed! He knows how to make your beauty shine, amidst the ashes and the scars.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 (NJV)

¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

¹² I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, ¹³ and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.

You are beautifully flawed! Perfectly Flawed! A beauty undefined, refined by his grace, wonderfully knit together to complete his work. He made you an excellent design, hand-made, by his grace divine. You are perfectly flawed and excellent by design.

Living On Fumes

 Have you ever been so low on gas that you were close to running out? There is nothing more irritating than the unsettling feeling you get, when you are so close to empty. Feelings of anxiousness and uncertainty begin to plague your mind. Sometimes we live our life on fumes, barely getting by, barely making it, and on the edge of reason. We are slowly becoming depleted not understanding that the toxicity we cultivate is depleting us. Don’t continue to function on the fumes, don’t continue to live life on the edge, you must STOP and refuel. Locate a gas station, with sustaining and quality supply.  The gas station represents those things in your life that fill you up, and refuel your passion, and give you energy, and breathe life into you.

What is your gas station?

What are the things that fill your life with joy, excitement, meaning, and fulfillment?

Colossians 2:10

and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority;

“God wants to provide true meaning to your life, and emptiness can only be filled by the one who sustains our soul. When we come to the end of ourselves, that is when faith begins.” 

 

If you continue to live on fumes, eventually you will run out, burnout, and breakdown. Don’t wait until the gas runs out to refuel. Continue to monitor and check your gas levels. Stay refueled. Allow God to continue to fill your cup. If your heart is overwhelmed, God wants to give you living water.

Empty out of yourself, so that God can pour in more peace, more joy, and more rest into your life. He invites us to come and be refueled.

He fills our life with so much joy, and the joy is not predicated on our circumstances, but its the assurance that we have, that he is with us, and that everything we need is in him. He is our refugee and our strength, and we find the rest, direction, and guidance we need in him; once we come to the end our ourselves…stop and refuel. Live in the fullness of God’s grace, and don’t settle for living a life on fumes.